Cosplay Store
by may10baby
Summary: When Sasuke and Itachi go to a costume store to shop for a set of costumes for their mother’s birthday masquerade party, they get kidnapped by a perverted masked man. They wake up in the care of two cute teens and a house full of lunatics! Full sum. insid
1. Parasols and a Lolita Blonde

Summary- When Sasuke and Itachi go to a costume store to shop for a set of costumes for their mother's birthday masquerade party, they get kidnapped by a perverted masked man. They wake up in the care of two cute teens and a house full of lunatics! YAOI- SasuNaru, ItaKyuu, KakaIru, GaaLee, SasoDei, etc.

Ages:

Mitoko: 32, Sasuke: 13, Itachi:18, Kakashi: 27, Naruto: 12, Kyuubi: 17,

Note: I would really love fanart for this story, considering the fact that I'm going to be dressing up various characters in cosplay ranging in anything from sailor skirts to goth wear. Please tell me if you are, and if you post the art please state it's from my story and provide a link if possible! Love ya all!

* * *

"My two dearest children! Go out and buy some adorable costumes for my b-day party!" a feminine voice giggled.

"…you're kidding." A dark, emotionless, yet sexy voice replied.

"Mom! Why?!" a slightly higher pitched voice whined. Someone was heard stomping their foot.

The higher pitched voice belonged to middle school heartthrob Uchiha Sasuke, the emotionless one belonging to high school heartthrob Uchiha Itachi, Sasuke's big brother.

Mitoko glared at her sons, flipping back a lock of her ebony black hair over her shoulder. "Because it's a costume party, you sillies!" she snapped, her voice ending in a menacing tone that clearly meant 'Get the fuck out of my house and bring back cute costumes or I'll throw you idiots out.'

Sasuke bit his lip. He, along with his brother, had inherited their mother's dark hair and matching eyes, though Itachi had a physical birth defect of these weird lines down between his eyes and nose, while Sasuke apparently had a mental birth defect due to the fact that he styled his hair like a duck's ass, while Itachi's hair was long and in a loose ponytail tied at the base of his neck.

Sasuke was currently dressed in a loose black t-shirt with a long-sleeved mesh shirt underneath and gray cargo pants and black, skull-print canvas sneakers.

Itachi, a little less conservative, was wearing a black tank top with the midriff exposed, only to be covered up again by another fishnet shirt underneath. He also had yanked on a pair of really, _really_, tight, black leather pants (that he said fit quite well actually) and boots.

Can someone say eye candy?

They both returned their mother's glare before the woman's gaze only seemed to intensify and they quick ran out of the house. Itachi managing to grab his keys on the way.

* * *

"Aniki…Aniki…Aniki, Aniki, Aniki, Ani-"

"What..?" Itachi ground out, his eyes scanning the stores for any sign of a costume store while glancing at the road he was driving down in a black Lexus.

"…Do you see anything? 'Cause I don't." Sasuke answered, stating the oblivious. He was clearly bored out of his mind.

Itachi sighed, his eyes glancing at the slightly traffic-filled road before returning to his store-search. '_Teenagers…_' he temporarily ignored the fact he was a teenager as well, hell, he'd be graduating high school this summer! "No, Sasuke" he replied "I don't see anything."

"Rats…" Sasuke replied, glancing around in boredom. "Can we go to McDonald's?"

"Have you been hanging out with that Kimimaru freak again?" Itachi snapped out '_And getting totally screwed up in the head without even knowing it…_' he added to his thoughts.

"Only a little…" Sasuke muttered, staring out the window. He blinked when his gaze fell on a peculiar store. "Ah! Aniki! What about that one?" he asked, pointing at radically painted store that looked like it was one artistic blob. Various splashes and splatters of paint dotted the window wall, from gold to hot pink, in the window display were two mannequins, both dressed up various forms of what was undeniably cosplay.

Cue the Jaws Theme!

Itachi studied it warily, glancing around a bit for another store, sighing when one couldn't be found. He parked in a small empty slot near the store and turned off the engine. He examined it from a safe distance a little while longer "…Well, let's go." He opened the car door, Sasuke following suit.

They missed the slightly evil chuckle when Itachi pulled the store's door open.

* * *

Sasuke glanced around at the brightly lit, and surprisingly big, store. There were numerously crowded displays of different outfits from ball gowns to more sexually appealing apparel in the far back of the store. He sweatdropped, turning around to leave. He stared behind him before.

"What the hell?! Aniki! The door's gone!" Sasuke cried, staring at the solid wall behind them, covered with different kinds of jewelry. Itachi blinked, spinning around and staring at the jewelry display before cursing.

"Dammit!"

"Please don't use such language in Cosplay Hearts." A voice lazily ordered behind them. The two brothers spun back around, faced with a Masked Pirate.

The black scarf that covered the man's face didn't look like it would be coming off soon, and underneath the blue Buccaneer's hat peeped out silver hair, despite the fact that from what the brunette's could see, that being only the left eye and the skin around it considering the fact that the other eye was covered by an eye patch. A captain-like coat of gray and black, shiny pirate boots completed the look.

"Ah…" Itachi sweatdropped, staring at the man's choice of clothing in a mix of shock and astonishment. "Sorry?" the pirate seemed to smile from the way his eye curved up.

"It's no problem, my name's Kakashi, and what are you two gentleman looking to buy?" he asked, obliviously the manager of the store.

"Err…um, just some simple costumes for our mother's birthday party…" Itachi replied awkwardly, glancing around for anything "normal"

Kakashi hmm'ed "Well, you guys are clearly clueless to the wonderful ways of cosplay." He stated simple, ignoring the glares. "How about this, I'll let you two try on all the costumes in our store, and whatever you like, you buy?"

"All of them?" Sasuke answered, looking around the store in shock.

"We've also got a quite a few in the basement too…" Kakashi added, more to himself, then to his company.

"That'll take fucking forever!" Sasuke replied, flailing his arms.

"Fuck this, we're leaving." Itachi snapped irritably.

Kakashi's visible eye narrowed. "I thought I warned the two of you not to curse…" he growled out, snapping his fingers.

Itachi and Sasuke both cried out as the floor under their feet gave out, the floor turning out to be a trapdoor.

"The hell…?!" Sasuke's voice echoed as the brothers dropped into the dark abyss beneath them.

Kakashi sighed, stepping to the end of the trap before smiling "I'm sure Kyuubi and Naruto'll take good care of them…" he chuckled, turning around and walking back to the register to finish his favorite orange book.

* * *

Sasuke groaned, his head throbbing painfully. He opened his eyes slowly and was greeted by the slight that could only be a white corset. He blinked, staring at the clothing for a few seconds until he managed to draw his gaze upward, towards whoever's face. His eyes met with a pair of startlingly beautiful blue eyes that studied him worriedly.

"Oh, you're awake…" a soft voice noted, a Sasuke's caretaker leaned back away from the brunette.

Blonde hair framed a soft face that carried those pretty eyes, only 3 whisker-like scars marred the blonde's cute face. Sasuke's eyes trailed down to the blonde's outfit and was surprised to see that along with the white corset, the blonde had opted to slide on a black dress that people rarely wore outside the movies. The dress reached up the blonde's slender neck, ending with a slightly lacy lining, the long, robe like sleeves also were lined with , much larger, white lace, and on the blonde's hands were black lace gloves in a floral pattern. The dress went under the corset and right after the corset ended slightly above the slim waist, an long, thick piece of white cloth was tied around the blonde's midsection and ended in a big elaborate bow behind the blonde. The bottom of the dress poofed out and was also lined with layers of white lace just above the knee. Black and white striped stockings covered what parts of the blonde's slim legs were viewable. Black, ankle high boots that seemed slightly big with the tops folded down over the sides completed the look…if you didn't notice the white parasol resting against the bedside table.

"Um…sorry if that seemed...awkward…" the blonde continued, blushing slightly "I was just fluffing up your pillows…I'll be taking care of you during your stay at Cosplay Hearts, my name is Uzumaki Naruto! Please let me know if you need anything at all!" Naruto chirped, smiling brightly at Sasuke, who stared right back.

'_Naruto..? That doesn't sound that feminine…_' Sasuke thought as his eyes went up and down his caretaker's form again. He blinked, resting his eyes on the surprisingly flat chest above the corset "…You're a guy..?" Sasuke asked, shocked beyond all belief.

"Um…yeah..?" Naruto tilted his head to the side before he burst out laughing, startling the brunette "Teehee…it's the dress, right?" he giggled, his laughter only growing when Sasuke's cheeks stained red "Yeah, quite a few of the people here demand that my brother and I cross-dress, they just love to play dress up with us!" Naruto smiled sweetly.

'_His brother? Please be twins! Please be twins!_' Sasuke prayed. Oh wait…brothers? "Aniki!" Sasuke gasped, looking around the room desperately, his blinked in surprise at the lushness and style.

He was on a giant deep blue canopy bed with black satin sheets in a smoke-gray painted room. Three doors lined different walls and an oak bookcase with a few manga lining the shelves rested against the wall to his right along with a sleek desk.

"Oh, the other person was your older brother? He's in my brother's care right now because they're kinda close in age…" Naruto muttered, tapping a laced finger against his chin thoughtfully.

'_Aww…no twin_.' Sasuke thought sadly as he nodded "Um…am I allowed out of here?" he asked warily, remembering the physco pirate and the evil trap door.

"Ah! Of course! Let me get you some clothes though…" Naruto muttered more the bit more to himself than to Sasuke, who looked down and stared at the pajamas he'd been changed into while he was unconscious. It was black and had a heart pattern…in pink.

"…Why am I wearing this?" the brunette asked darkly. Naruto laughed awkwardly.

"In case you didn't know, mainly at Cosplay Hearts we dress up like this" Naruto gestured to his outfit "or even more elaborate…" he explained to a paling Uchiha "That was one of the few pajamas that wasn't a nightgown or included any frill what-so-ever, and it was the least weirdest too…" he added, causing Sasuke to pale even more.

"…What are you planning on dressing me in?" Sasuke asked, fearing for the worst.

"Oh, Deidara-kun'll handle that, don't worry though, I'll tell him to pick out something easy because it's your first day. He already knows all your sizes, so he should be able to whip something up!" Sasuke vaguely wondered how long he'd been asleep.

"Um…okay. Where's my brother at?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh, I wouldn't know, we'll probably meet him at dinner, just so you know it's 4:46PM…dinner is at 6, if you're hungry before that I'll get you something to snack on. I'll be back with your clothes, and don't wander around, this place is huge, and people get lost very easily, but at least try to stay on the floor if you become curious" Naruto studied Sasuke for a moment "and don't go down into the basement, I _almost lost_ my virginity that way." He warned.

Sasuke blinked in surprise "Almost..?" he echoed, causing Naruto to blush prettily across his cheeks. "You're still a virgin?" he asked, staring at the blonde blankly.

Naruto glared at him in embarrassment "Yeah! So what?! I'm waiting for Mr. Right!" he snapped at the brunette.

Inner Sasuke started doing cartwheels. "You're gay as well?" Sasuke asked, trying to hide his excitement. Naruto's blush spread to the rest of his face.

"I-if you want someone else to care for you-" he babbled.

"No need" Sasuke grinned at the blonde lecherously "I'm gay too…" he purred, smirking when Naruto's face began to resemble an over-ripe tomato, he could've sworn Naruto's hair had tinged red too.

"A-ah…um, I…we-I'm not…" Naruto stuttered, backing away slightly before spinning around and snatching up his parasol and running the door across from the wall Sasuke's bed was leaned against, yanking it open and sprinting out of the room before slamming the door shut.

Sasuke smirked "Hope Aniki's having this much fun…"

* * *

May: Wee! Chapter one is done! Kiriban number shall be….105! Yay! Lol. Please! My inner craving second to milk chocolate covered ukes is reviews! Critics/flamers aren't welcome! Please review for me! 


	2. Roses and Kimonowearing Bishies

May: And we're back! With ItaKyuu as the first segment of this chapter!

* * *

Previously:

_Sasuke blinked in surprise "Almost..?" he echoed, causing Naruto to blush prettily across his cheeks. "You're still a virgin?" he asked, staring at the blonde blankly._

_Naruto glared at him in embarrassment "Yeah! So what?! I'm waiting for Mr. Right!" he snapped at the brunette._

_Inner Sasuke started doing cartwheels. "You're gay as well?" Sasuke asked, trying to hide his excitement. Naruto's blush spread to the rest of his face._

"_I-if you want someone else to care for you-" he babbled._

"_No need" Sasuke grinned at the blonde lecherously "I'm gay too…" he purred, smirking when Naruto's face began to resemble an over-ripe tomato, he could've sworn Naruto's hair had tinged red too._

"_A-ah…um, I…we-I'm not…" Naruto stuttered, backing away slightly before spinning around and snatching up his parasol and running the door across from the wall Sasuke's bed was leaned against, yanking it open and sprinting out of the room before slamming the door shut._

_Sasuke smirked "Hope Aniki's having this much fun…" 

* * *

_

Chapter 1- Roses and a Kimono-wearing Bishie-

* * *

Itachi was having such a lovely dream. 

It included him in a big, soft bed in a big, pretty room and the icing on the cake being the princess that fretted over him in the most adorable way.

Said princess introducing himself as Uzumaki Kyuubi, Kyuubi no Kistune in other cases that involved even dirtier cosplay…ehem. Kyuubi's long blood-red hair matched his slightly slitted eyes, said hair that on normal occasions would reach down a little past his ass, a very cute ass Itachi insisted, and his bangs that would spill over his face until he resembled the grudge on Valentine's Day, today was pinned back by an assortment of delicate silver flower ornaments into a high ponytail with red silk ribbon braided loosely, yet meticulously throughout the ponytail that had yet to let a stray lock of hair loose even though Itachi's princess (as the Uchiha was calling him in his mind) stated it was late in the afternoon. A sheer white kimono with a red sash and hem that brushed against Kyuubi's toes covered a darker and shorter layer of the same material, only in black.

Oh yes, this was Itachi's definition of heaven. Please, if there's a Just and Loving God, don't let this dream end!

Kyuubi felt slightly awkward. Not only was this his first time caring for someone on his own. But he knew for a fact that the person in his care would have rather chosen the two of them having monkey sex for the next hour over his next ten minutes of oxygen.

Yes, Kyuubi wasn't an idiot, in fact, he almost bordered on "Smart".

So, being the almost smart red head he was, he kept the body contact to an absolute minimum and quickly left with the excuse of finding the brunette something to wear, (Itachi was currently wearing nothing but a pair of skull-print drawstring pants that were uncommonly loose) and bolted.

Itachi smirked, staring after him before standing up and walking of to the door that Kyuubi stated was the bathroom. He wanted a shower.

* * *

Sasuke walked down the black corridor, as in black ceiling with chandeliers as lighting, and a lush, black carpet underneath his bare feet. He was still in his pajamas, but his curiosity got the better of him and he left the room.

Sasuke sighed, glancing at the drastically different colored doors in slight interest. His door had been a dark blue that almost seemed black, but most of the colors of the doors were fluorescent or pastel colors, which unnerved him greatly…and damaged his eyesight.

Out of curiosity he walked up and opened a hot pink door and stepped inside…except there wasn't a floor.

"What the hell?!" Sasuke's shout echoed as he fell into darkness. He tumbled for seemed to be quite a while, until he landed on a bunch of green pillows in a large, dimly lit room.

"Pillows..?...Wait…" Sasuke picked up a "pillow" and studied it. He sweatdropped "…A frog?" he squished the plushie in his hands, only to have it pop back to its original size when he released the pressure from his hands.

Sasuke did this a few more times before glancing around in boredom. The dimly lit room was just that, a dimly lit room…full of frogs. "…The hell?"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" a voice roared into the brunette's ear. Sasuke spun around and almost screamed, scrambling back when he saw a white-haired, old man extremely close to his face.

"Wha…Wha..?" Sasuke replied, gasping from the air that had suddenly left him.

"Who. Are. You?!" the man repeated firmly, glaring at Sasuke darkly.

"S-Sasuke…" the Uchiha answered weakly. Blinking when he noticed the white-haired man's complete outfit.

A frog suit.

'….What the fuck?!' Sasuke thought staring at giant green suit.

The white-haired man seemed to have noticed because he jumped up, striking a pose.

"Behold! You see before you the Great Frog Suitor! Jiraiya!" Jiraiya shouted. Sasuke sweatdropped.

"…Frog Suitor?" Jiraiya's eyes narrowed dangerously, Sasuke gulped.

"That's what's wrong with children today! What are suits designed as today?! Rabbits! Cats! Bears! Why not frogs?!" the man shrieked to the heavens.

'Because that's just weird…' Sasuke thought. "…"

"See?! No response! Those fools that dared to toss me into the basement! Behold! GIVE ME A REASON FROGS DON'T TOTALLY ROCK?!" Jiraiya roared.

Sasuke blinked "Basement?" he echoed, what had Naruto said about the basement?

"…_don't go down into the basement, I almost lost my virginity that way." He warned._

Sasuke stared at the frog freak. No way was he being raped by some guy dressed as a fly-eater! "Back off!" he shouted, standing up (which was hard due to the fact he was on a hill of plushies) "I know Judo!" Jiraiya merely stared at him. "I mean it! Touch me and die, you rapist!" Jiraiya stared at him for a bit before…

"…If you're looking for the snake rapist, he's in the attic." The white-haired man replied matter-of-factly. Sasuke blinked, staring dumbly at Jiraiya.

"…But, Naruto said…" Immediately Jiraiya brightened up.

"Oh, are you a friend of Naruto's? Why didn't you say so? Poor boy, was sent for by Orochimaru, the rapist, luckily he fell down into the basement instead of going upstairs to the attic at the top. I was able to warn him in time." Jiraiya smirked at Sasuke. "Orochimaru found a new boy toy? You have my pity…it's not worth much." He added, Sasuke paled, shaking his head.

"NO. I just fell down here, Naruto took a while to get my clothes, so I got curious and started to look around." Sasuke corrected, glancing around.

"Ah…I see."

"…How do I get out of here?" Sasuke asked, looking at Jiraiya, who gave him an insulted look.

"Leaving without looking at my sequin collection? Not even in this hell, boy."

Sasuke had the sudden urge to cry for his mother.

* * *

"Oh, no, no, no!" Naruto whimpered, running around, looking for signs of his charge. He turned the corner, grunting when he collided with someone's chest. He fell back onto the floor, crying out in pain. "Ow!"

"Ah! Naru!" Kyuubi gasped, almost dropping Itachi's clothes, as he knelt next to the sniffling blonde. "Are you okay, sweetie?" he asked, petting the teary-eyed blonde.

"Nii-chan! I lost Sasuke! He wasn't in his room when I came back!" Naruto wailed, burying his face in his hands. Kyuubi sighed.

"Well that isn't good. Come on, I'll drop these clothes off at Itachi's room and then we'll look for him, okay?" he smiled when Naruto nodded. "Well, come on then!" he grinned, tugging Naruto up to his feet.

* * *

May: Ahh…Kyuubi-sama, your big-bro-ness is an inspiration to us all! Luckily I'm an only child, kukuku…


	3. Sequins and Prada Bags

May: kukuku…poor Sasuke is still suck with the sequin man!

Previously:

"_Oh, no, no, no!" Naruto whimpered, running around, looking for signs of his charge. He turned the corner, grunting when he collided with someone's chest. He fell back onto the floor, crying out in pain. "Ow!"_

"_Ah! Naru!" Kyuubi gasped, almost dropping Itachi's clothes, as he knelt next to the sniffling blonde. "Are you okay, sweetie?" he asked, petting the teary-eyed blonde._

"_Nii-chan! I lost Sasuke! He wasn't in his room when I came back!" Naruto wailed, burying his face in his hands. Kyuubi sighed._

"_Well that isn't good. Come on, I'll drop these clothes off at Itachi's room and then we'll look for him, okay?" he smiled when Naruto nodded. "Well, come on then!" he grinned, tugging Naruto up to his feet._

* * *

"Oh, here we are…" Kyuubi chirped, stopping at a blood-red painted door. He turned the knob and walked inside, Naruto scurrying in after him. The red head almost dropped the bundle of clothes he was carrying at the sight that met him.

Itachi, dripping wet, clad only in a towel (a very low-riding towel, mind you!) was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, steam radiating off his slick skin as he towel dried his hair, successfully blocking his view of the two Uzumakis.

Both Kyuubi and Naruto ate up the eye-candy presented to them, barely keeping enough self-control to not lunge at the Uchiha like fangirls. Itachi blinked when he noticed the gawking duo and smirked.

"Having fun?" he asked in a non-too-innocent voice, making Naruto 'eep' and run out the door, and Kyuubi blush before walking stiffly towards the foot of the bed, laying down the bundle of clothes on the bedspread.

"T-this is your set of clothing for the evening, you shouldn't need any hel-KYAH!" Kyuubi squealed when Itachi's arms circled his stomach. The red head shuddered when Itachi's tongue ran along the shell of his ear.

"Mmm…Looks like you could use some help **out** of this though…" Itachi replied, tilting Kyuubi's head so he could kiss him fully. Kyuubi moaned, letting Itachi's tongue slide inside his mouth and work his own tongue expertly.

'_Gods, this guy's good…_' Kyuubi's thought process trailed off after his conscience as he forget the fact that his little brother was outside, no doubt wondering what was going on. Well, he'd find out some enough, despite the soundproofing, if you eavesdropped on someone at the door, you be able to get a good grip on what's going on… especially sex.

Itachi smirked as Kyuubi went limp in his arms, before pushing the kimono-clad beauty onto the bed so the red head was on his back. The Uchiha quickly removed Kyuubi's outerwear, leaving only the sheer, black yukata-like piece held together by a piece of flimsy cloth on the slim body.

Taking his time, Itachi ran his hands slowly up Kyuubi's legs, getting another shiver as Kyuubi felt the pleasurable sensations run through him before Itachi undid the tie to Kyuubi's robe, causing it to slide off to the sides, giving Itachi a very pretty view.

"Heh…so you are a natural red head…" Itachi chuckled, running his fingers through the coarse, slightly darker, red hair around Kyuubi's…ehem, "special spot". Itachi had the pleasure of watching a humiliated/pleasured face pass over his princess' face as he stroked the red head.

Kyuubi gave a keening cry as Itachi paid special attention to a place no one else had touched. Kyuubi's eyes widened in realization as Itachi began to lower his head. The red's hands went down to grip Itachi's hair in an attempt to stop him.

"S-stop…W-we…AH!" Kyuubi cried out, thrusting upwards as Itachi's tongue pressed against the tip of his erection before the Uchiha quickly leaned back.

Itachi smirked at the look on Kyuubi's face. He kissed those pouty, full lips.

"Is something wrong? You asked me to stop…" Itachi ran a finger down Kyuubi's bare stomach, earning another moan "Besides, that other boy's probably still outside…" he added. Kyuubi blinked, thought process being dragged back by the idea that his brother was a voyeur.

"Naruto!" he sprang up, running over to the door, tugging the black yukata over hid body, before peeking his head out of the door. "Naruto?" he glanced around, the blonde-haired boy nowhere to be seen. "Naruto?" he tried again, stepping out of the room into the hallway, he blinked noticing a note on the floor next to him.

_Dear Kyuu-nii,_

_Because you're really…busy…I decided to ask Ero-Sennin about Sasuke, since so many servants fall into his basement and then they gossip a whole bunch._

_Naruto_

"Ack! Bad Naru! Don't go to the creepy frog perv!" Kyuubi squeaked, turning around and running back into Itachi's room. He grabbed the tie to his yukata "Itachi! Get dressed, we need to…" he glanced at the empty bed (that had held an Uchiha seconds ago) in confusion. "Itachi?"

_**Slam!**_

Kyuubi jumped, spinning around to see Itachi standing in front of a closed room door. "Itachi?" Kyuubi asked warily at the gleam in the Uchiha's eyes.

Said Uchiha's hand drifted down towards the lock.

_**Click.**_

"Itachi! We need to go and…" Kyuubi felt his lifespan shorten when Itachi grinned lecherously, stalking towards him. "I-Itachi…" Kyuubi whimpered, too frightened to move as the older teen proceeded to wrap his arms around him.

"Now, now…" Itachi murmured, eyes narrowed creepily "Let's not forget that we were playing a game Kyuubi-chan." Itachi purred, pressing something long, hard and hot, against Kyuubi, who jumped. "And I have something that needs tending." Kyuubi's eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"………_**RAPE!**_" Kyuubi screamed.

* * *

Naruto hurried down the stairs to the basement, knowing Deidara would yell at him for dirtying his costume.

'_But charges first!_' he thought, walking down onto the landing before he was abruptly hit by something hot, fast and hard.

* * *

Sasuke grunted when he slammed into something in an attempt to escape the frog psycho.

Next thing he knew, something soft and frilly was in his face and he heard a high-pitched squeal. Then something that could definitely be identified as a shoe was rammed into his face, causing him the fly back, seeing stars.

* * *

Naruto quickly shoved the frilly layering of his dress back underneath the black top cloth.

"Ah! Sasuke!" he cried, realizing he'd just kicked his perverted charge in the face. "I'm sorry!" he quickly crawled over to the brunette, shaking him gently.

Sasuke groaned, rubbing his cheek.

"Hey! You runt come ba- Oh! Naruto!" Jiraiya ran up to the two teens. "How are ya?" he asked.

"I'm fine, but Sasuke's not!" Naruto whimpered.

"That's what he gets for trying to run off when I was showing him my collection…" Jiraiya muttered, glaring down at a dazed Sasuke.

Sasuke shuddered, pressing his body against Naruto's soft one "Scary…" the brunette muttered, wrapping his arms around Naruto's slim waist. Naruto blushed, helping the brunette up.

"Come on, let's go…" the blonde smiled at Jiraiya before leading the brunette up the small stairwell.

"Hey! Lemme outta here!" Jiraiya shouted, running towards the stairwell, only to, because of his fat frog suit, get stuck in the entrance. "Noo!!" he screeched, flailing around uselessly.

Naruto and Sasuke quickly scurried the rest of the way upstairs.

* * *

Kyuubi groaned slightly, snuggling deeper into the smooth pillow sheet before his eyes fluttered open gently. In the midst in the "rape-to-consented sex" scenario, his hair had been undone, letting it be sprawled out onto Itachi's bed like red silk.

"Well shit…" Kyuubi muttered, noticing his extreme lack of clothing. He propped himself up onto his elbows, still lying on his stomach. He winced slightly at the throbbing in his nether regions. "Could you have been a little nicer?" he asked the still brunette next to him, pouting slightly.

Itachi groaned slightly, sliding an arm over his eyes, trying to continue with his nap "Could you have anymore stamina? We were just at it for how many rounds?"

"I lost count…maybe around six or seven?" Kyuubi pondered, resting his chin in his hand. Itachi snorted.

"I sure as hell know we got past twelve before I completely focused on that tight ass of yours." Itachi slid his arm up so one eye was looking at Kyuubi. "Are you happy now? Now I'm not going to be able to finish my nap."

"Of course." Kyuubi replied, leaning down and pecking Itachi on the lips lightly. "If that frog psycho harmed or touched my little brother in any way, I'll make sure you can never be Seme again." He stated seriously, staring emotionlessly into the eyes of the guy he'd let own his ass for 12+ rounds.

Itachi sweatdropped "Uhuh…who exactly is this 'frog psycho'?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

"Jiraiya, 'The Great Frog Suitor'" Kyuubi stated, taking both of his hands and making the 'peace' sign, before bending his fingers twice. "He's a totally perverted psychopath, bent on making frogs the dominant species of the planet." He explained.

Itachi stared blankly at his Uke. "…Frogs…" he repeated. Kyuubi nodded.

"Uhuh, I know. He also says there's a Godzilla-type monster frog named Gamabunta that's waiting for him in another world for him to summon him so that they can take over the world."

"…_Frogs?_" Itachi sweatdropped when Kyuubi nodded once again.

"…Not to mention he has a sequin collection." Kyuubi added.

"Shit, we need to call the cops!" Itachi shouted, sitting up quickly, only to be pushed back down by Kyuubi, the redhead's chest rubbing against his own.

"Now, now, Itachi." Kyuubi purred, his face close to the brunette's. The redhead smiled weirdly at the Uchiha "First rule; no outside contact." Itachi looked at Kyuubi in confusion, but Kyuubi immediately leaned back, seemingly back to normal.

"Besides…" Kyuubi added "He dresses up in a giant frog suit and it makes him too fat to get out of the basement."

Itachi sweatdropped "Will your brother be okay?"

"Probably, hopefully Jiraiya doesn't consider sending our brothers up to Orochimaru in the attic…" Kyuubi paled slightly at the thought.

Itachi lifted a brow. "I'm afraid to ask, but…who's Orochimaru?"

Kyuubi smiled lovingly at Itachi, petting him on the head like a school boy "Don't be afraid to ask questions, stuff like this saves you and your nice ass…well, Orochimaru's 'the Great Snake Sorcerer'" Kyuubi made another 'bendy peace sign' "He's a totally pedophilic psychopath bent on making snakes the dominant species of the planet and playing with little children in inappropriate ways while he's at it."

"…" Itachi couldn't say anything on this subject or how similar it sounded to another subject they had just discussed…

"Apparently he has a giant snake named Manda waiting for him to summon it into this world so they can take over it…but his skin's too pale and he catches on fire whenever he goes out into the sun, so he has a man-whore named Kabuto that goes out and bring back little boys for him to play with…"

"…That's just sick…and he catches on fire? What is he…a vampire?" Itachi muttered. Kyuubi smacked him upside the head.

"**Yuck!** No, vampires are too sexy for him to be considered one…see, you, Itachi, would milk the 'sexy creature of the night' look for all it's worth. Hell, I'd grab you by the hair and **make** you bite me…" Kyuubi cocked his head to the side and studied Itachi more closely. "Oh yeah, I'd definitely choose bloodsucking and eternal damnation with some wild, supernatural, vampy sex with you over living just one lifetime with the sun and blue sky…Uhuh, definitely."

Itachi stared at Kyuubi for a long time before he replied "I don't know how your thought process went from Pedophilic Snake Freaks to Vampire versions of us doing the Bedspread Tango, but I like it…"

"Huh? Pedophilic Snake Freaks?" Kyuubi snapped out of his thoughts of testing out interesting positions if he was given 'Vampy Powers' (Like Spidey Powers, only cooler), to the previous conversation. "Oh yeah…Orochimaru…well, I only met the guy once, before I ran, and that was a long time ago…" Kyuubi drew this eyes together. "Hmm…Jiraiya collected sequins, Tsunade had dibs on the shot glasses, Orochimaru like to buy…"

Itachi sweatdropped "Tsunade? Shot glasses?" he asked in confusion, only to get shushed by Kyuubi.

"Aha!" Kyuubi cried out in triumph, thumping his fist into the palm on this other hand "Now I remember! Orochimaru likes to buy Prada bags off the Net!"

* * *

May: Oh yes, Orochi-san loves purses, he never wears snakeskin though…and my own mother collects shot glasses...lolz

Review! And now you lazy and nameless guys who read my stories can review anonymously!


	4. Chief of Wardrobe Design

May: Updatation sensation! And thanks to MomoTessen for Itachi and Tobi's clothing designs! And conformation from her little brother and herself that Sasu should wear a –beep-

Previously:

"_Apparently he has a giant snake named Manda waiting for him to summon it into this world so they can take over it…but his skin's too pale and he catches on fire whenever he goes out into the sun, so he has a man-whore named Kabuto that goes out and brings back little boys for him to play with…"_

"…_That's just sick…and he catches on fire? What is he…a vampire?" Itachi muttered. Kyuubi smacked him upside the head._

"_Yuck! No, vampires are too sexy for him to be considered one…see, you, Itachi, would milk the 'sexy creature of the night' look for all it's worth. Hell, I'd grab you by the hair and __**make**__ you bite me…" Kyuubi cocked his head to the side and studied Itachi more closely. "Oh yeah, I'd definitely choose bloodsucking and eternal damnation with some wild, supernatural, vampy sex with you over living just one lifetime with the sun and blue sky…Uhuh, definitely."_

_Itachi stared at Kyuubi for a long time before he replied "I don't know how your thought process went from Pedophilic Snake Freaks to Vampire versions of us doing the Bedspread Tango, but I like it…"_

"_Huh? Pedophilic Snake Freaks?" Kyuubi snapped out of his thoughts of testing out interesting positions if he was given 'Vampy Powers' (Like Spidey Powers, only cooler), to the previous conversation. "Oh yeah…Orochimaru…well, I only met the guy once, before I ran, and that was a long time ago…" Kyuubi drew this eyes together. "Hmm…Jiraiya collected sequins, Tsunade had dibs on the Shot glasses, Orochimaru like to buy…"_

_Itachi sweatdropped "Tsunade? Shot glasses?" he asked in confusion, only to get shushed by Kyuubi._

"_Aha!" Kyuubi cried out in triumph, thumping his fist into the palm on this other hand "Now I remember! Orochimaru likes to buy Prada bags off the Net!"_

* * *

All Uchiha's had a natural gift of unbelievable sexiness, it was in their genes, it wasn't their fault.

However, after Naruto, in his panic to find Sasuke, dropped the bundle of clothing ment for him, and Kyuubi neatly ripped up Itachi's wardrobe that same night. A visit must be made…

To Deidara, Chief of Costume Design and Construction, along with his head-over-heels lackey, Tobi, and pet mannequin, Sasori.

Kyuubi tried to ignore the subtle, wandering hand of a certain brunette(not that he minded), calmly massaging his hip while the hand's arm rested around his slim waist. He glanced over when Naruto gave out a high-pitched squeak, stumbling away from a grinning Sasuke.

Naruto was currently dressed in a white dress with a light-orange ribbon sewed around his waist and tied behind him cutely, the leftover ribbon trailing behind him when he walked before resting down at his knees. The dress came with a petticoat that barely showed underneath the white fabric, said fabric ended a few inches above Naruto's knees, with a pair of white sandals with tiny orange flowers decorating the straps. A silver flower chain bracelet was around Naruto's wrist. There weren't any sleeves for the dress, not that Sasuke minded, in fact, he liked the blonde's outfit very much. You could see some more of his slim figure then the outfit yesterday.

Thus making Sasuke a very pleased teenager in a bathrobe. In fact, due to the lack of clothing, Itachi was in a matching snowy white bathrobe while a "dressed down" Kyuubi walked next to him.

Kyuubi's hair was up in a messy, yet stylish bun with bangs framing his face. 4 earrings: 2 hoops, a stud, and a rose piece, all in silver were stuck in his right ear, the hoops running up along the outer cartilage, the rose, the biggest piece, with a red jewel in the center and a smaller, red stud pierced into Kyuubi's upper lobe. On his other ear he had the twins of the rose and stud earrings in the same place on the lobe and a set of three gold hoops running up his cartilage.

The red head wore a long-sleeved, black and red striped shirt with a large neckline, large enough to let the shirt slide down both his shoulders, revealing the smooth, creamy skin, dotted with hickeys, that Itachi most definitely wanted to lick. The shirt ended at the bottom of Kyuubi's ribs, tears marring the bottom of the shirt. Itachi could clearly see the small, fox-shaped belly button ring on Kyuubi's stomach with silver and gold streaks with red ruby eyes and nine tails, and for some reason, he was really turned on by it. Kyuubi's pants consisted of low-riding, black cargo pants, with two or three various studded and non-studded belts hanging off his hips and red DC's with black laces. Several rings covered his fingers with the exception of his left ring finger and his nails were painted a dark black.

Kyuubi stared warily at the double set of doors painted a sheer white. He and Naruto exchanged scared glances and Itachi and Sasuke raised lifted brows as the two caretakers pushed open the door.

"Finally!" a voice snapped from the darkness of the room beyond as soon as the doors opened all the way. A blonde-haired girl-woman-wait, holy shit, I think it's male- strode quickly up to Kyuubi and Naruto.

He, yeah okay, we'll call it a he, was dressed in a dark red blouse with a black, sleeveless vest over top of it and a red scarf. He had on a red and black, plaid miniskirt with tight, black jeans underneath and twice as many belts as Kyuubi, not including the chains. Pure black converse with red laces were tucked under his jean folds.

"I swear! Naruto, losing your charge's clot-Kyah! Kawaii!" the blonde squealed, cuddling Naruto "You look so adorable! That outfit was just made for you!" the blonde stated. Naruto sweatdropped.

"Deidara-nii-chan…" Deidara release the suffocating blonde before turning to Kyuubi in an attempt to continue his scolding.

"And you Kyuu…oh my fucking god, you got your belly button pierced?! And two more holes on your ears?! Yes! That'll do perfectly for my "Mystic #57" design!" Deidara squealed. "And nice outfit, slightly saying "I'm a whore", slightly stating, "I'm punk, bitch." Very cute." Deidara flitted over Kyuubi and Naruto's attire for a few more moments before his gaze was drawn to Itachi and Sasuke.

Deidara stared them down before humming to himself, closing his eyes in thought before raising his hand and snapping two, well-manicured purple nails.

Immediately a brunette with short, spiky hair tucked underneath a neon orange Jay-Z hat with the visor pulled down over one black eye. He had on a loose, black hoody with a rainbow kunai pattern and jeans in that low, 'Gangsta' style that showed off black boxers with orange swirls.

"Yo! what up my homies!?" the brunette greeted gansterly (is that a word?) before getting smacked upside the head by Deidara.

"Bad Tobi. Gangsters get shot." Deidara chided. Tobi gave him a tearful look.

"But Deidara-sempai!" he whined, pouting cutely, Deidara ignored him, pointing at Itachi and Sasuke who were gawking at Tobi.

"Obito-nii-chan?!" Sasuke stared at his cousin in shock. Itachi was stunned into silence.

"HUH?! SASUKE?! ITACHI?!" Tobi stared at them before laughing awkwardly. "Ah, yeah…" he quickly ran back into the room.

Deidara rolled his eyes before motioning for the group of four to follow him into the abyss.

Itachi and Sasuke stared in sheer horror at the giant room that could be the size of a football stadium, miles of fabric, from ribbons to lace and red to purple, all hung off in giant rolls against the west wall. Hundreds, and I mean hundreds, of accessories, from purses to whips were against the far wall, the entire east wall was a giant mirror and the floor was dotted with various outfits and other clothes strewn across the floor.

"…Talk about a walk in closet…" Itachi managed, staring at the multitude of clothing.

Deidara led them to the center of the room, where a platform was built, on it, a red-haired man with brown eyes was dressing a mannequin in a French maid outfit with red frills. He was dressed in a black dress shirt and gray slacks, and red collar was around his neck with a gold Deidara-chibi giving the peace sign on the tag.

"Sa-so-ri-dan-na!" Deidara sang, pouncing on the man. Sasori rolled his eyes, pausing in dressing up the doll to peck Deidara on the cheek before turning to the group of four.

"Sup?" he greeted, ignoring Deidara's squeal.

"You're so cool!" the blonde squealed, hugging Sasori tighter.

"You gotta admit…" Kyuubi murmured to Itachi behind his hand "Sasori's got muscles of steel to be able not to snap under Deidara's insane strength…" Itachi sweatdropped.

"Nee…Sasori-danna! I was thinking, we should put the newbies in _that_ attire!" Sasori stared at Deidara silently before turning to examine Itachi and Sasuke.

"…Deidara…"

"But they'd look so… cute! And they're obliviously fucking Naruto and Kyuubi!" at this Naruto turned beet red and Kyuubi attempted to cover the hickeys all over his neck and shoulder area.

"…Naruto doesn't have any hickeys…" Sasori dryly commented.

"Yet." Deidara and Sasuke replied unison, before grinning at each other.

"**Anywayyyy!**" Kyuubi spoke up, pushing a doomed Itachi forward, Naruto hastily doing the same to Sasuke. "Dress them up and all, we'll meet back at your rooms, with lunch." Kyuubi hurriedly grabbed Naruto and dragged him out of the room. Deidara turned to looked at Itachi in mute awe.

"Damn, You made Kyuubi act like a _virgin_ of all things! Are you related to Christ?" ((note: I don't own Christ and don't mean any offense whatsoever to Christians. May believes in reincarnation))

Itachi sweatdropped.

"Uh, no." he replied. Deidara shrugged, peeling himself off of Sasori.

"Ah well, come on. We agree Danna? _That_ set?" he asked. Sasori nodded.

"_That_ set." Itachi and Sasuke sweatdropped.

"We're not a 'set'." They snapped. Deidara and Sasori rolled their eyes, leading them to the giant mirror wall, grabbing a pile of clothes and tossing a set of interesting outfits to a bemused Itachi and pissed Sasuke.

"I'm. Not. Wearing. This." Sasuke gritted out, shaking the piece of clothing as Sasori and Deidara.

"Yes you are, or go out of here naked." Sasori replied, crossing his arms in his sexy 'obey bitch' way that made Deidara melt.

Sasuke flinched from the dark look Deidara gave him, looked at the piece of clothing in his hand and shuddered, turning to the fitting room. Itachi snorted before disappearing into a different room.

* * *

"Shit!" Kyuubi fell back in shock when Itachi walked into the room. Itachi glanced at a gaping Kyuubi sprawled on his bedroom floor, smirking.

"Hello to you too." He greeted, crossing his arms. He was dressed in a black dress shirt with a few undone buttons at the collar and black cargo pants like Kyuubi. The most shocking fact was and white doctors coat and stethoscope around the Uchiha's neck.

"I-Itachi…" Kyuubi managed, still in shock. Itachi smirked, kneeling down and stroking Kyuubi's cheek.

"Ah, ah, that's Doctor Uchiha to you." Itachi replied, pressing his lips against Kyuubi's. Kyuubi snapped out of his daze and glared at Itachi.

"You perv. You wanna role-play at a time like this?" Kyuubi growled against Itachi's lips. Itachi bit Kyuubi's lips gently before pulling away.

"All the time if you're involved Kyuu-chan, but unfortunately, I'm starving." Itachi replied, looking around for any signs of food. Kyuubi rolled his eyes, walking over to the desk picking up a tray of two plates of sashimi, a small bowl of wasabi, a cup of soy sauce and two bowls of rice. He set the tray on the bed, Itachi slipped off the doctor's coat and tossed it onto the floor carelessly before settling down next to Kyuubi on the bed. Kyuubi squeaked when he felt himself being lifted onto Itachi's lap.

"Jerk! I thought you wanted to eat!" Kyuubi squirmed in Itachi's arms, careful not to upset the tray.

"So feed me…" Itachi replied, working on adding another hickey to Kyuubi's neck. He cried out in surprise and pain when a bowl of steaming rice was shoved into his face. "Fuck!" he cursed, running to the bathroom. Kyuubi stared after him, smiling smugly to himself.

"That'll teach you not to interrupt…my…lunch...?" Kyuubi sweatdropped when a chill that came only from a certain Uchiha washed over him.

"…Ah, shit."

* * *

"Naruto…" The blonde eeped, spinning around to stare at Sasuke, his eyes widened in shock.

Sasuke still managed to absolutely Semelicious…

Even when he was dressed in a gothic nurse outfit.

A few of his bangs were clipped back and the spiky style he wore so much with his hair had been brushed out till the silky locks fell down like normal hair. He had on a one-piece sleeveless charcoal-gray dress that ended and his knees with a line of black lace. Two long, skin-tight black arm warmers rose up to his mid-upper arms and went al they way down to form fingerless gloves. A pair of black court shoes were on his feet and a black nursing hat with white lace and a red cross sat on his head.

Despite the feminine attire Sasuke still managed to advance on poor Naruto the same exact way as earlier in the story.

"S-Sasuke?!" Naruto managed, eeping when Sasuke effortlessly pounced on him, causing the two of them to land on his (Sasuke's) bed. "Kyah!"

**-WARNING! SMUT AHEAD! LOOK BEHIND YOUR SHOULDERS FOR YOUR PARENTS!!-**

Sasuke licked the skin of Naruto's neck sensually, savoring the taste as well as the high-pitched squeal Naruto made.

"Sas…Sasuke…" Naruto whined, pushing at the Uchiha's shoulders. Sasuke leaned back, licking his lips.

Sasuke cocked his head to the side, grinning slyly, "Yes Naru?" Naruto blushed, scooting out from underneath Uchiha.

"Ho-How can you do…that! In a skirt?!" he squeaked, Sasuke studied him for a minute.

"…Like this." Sasuke replied, pouncing on the blonde, Naruto started to protest but Sasuke effectively shut him up with a rough kiss.

Naruto moaned slightly, legs sliding against Sasuke's sensually. He slightly marveled at the surprisingly smooth skin.

"D-did Deidara-nii-chan make you shave your legs too..?" he asked curiously. Sasuke paused, staring at Naruto in shock, before his face dyed a crimson red.

"N-No! I-I mean…" Sasuke stuttered, hurriedly climbing off the blonde. Naruto sat up, watching as the brunette tried to save some of his pride. "We-well, the costume…" Sasuke hung his head in shame. He flinched when he heard Naruto giggle. '_Ah, god. Now he's gonna tease me…_' Sasuke thought, expecting the worst. He blinked in surprise when Naruto's arms circled his shoulders.

"Don't be upset. You make a very pretty nurse, Sasuke." Naruto purred, pecking a blushing Sasuke on the cheek.

"Naru..to?" Sasuke stared in shock and Naruto began to slide the sundress off his own body. His gaze flew to the lacy white panties Naruto wore underneath. Naruto blushed shyly.

"Kyuu-nii always makes fun of me for being a virgin…so if I do this with Sasuke, Kyuu-nii wouldn't tease me, right? And, and it's supposed to feel nice…" Naruto sputtered, looking away from Sasuke's hungry gaze. "And, and, Sasuke…Sasuke seems like a nice person, so…Kyah!" Naruto squealed when Sasuke pounced on top of him.

Sasuke kissed the blonde feverishly, working his tongue around Naruto's mouth, against his teeth, lips and his own tongue. Naruto shakily undid the buttons holding Sasuke's dress together, moaning when the last button came undone, giving the blonde a view of Sasuke's naked form and bugling, black panties. Naruto stared at the article of clothing and Sasuke hurriedly replied that "Deidara burned my boxers" Naruto laughed again and Sasuke smiled before continuing to kiss and suck his way down a panting Naruto's neck.

Naruto tilted his head back, stretching his neck back for the Uchiha, his hands clawed at Sasuke's black desperately before his hands gripped the brunette's hair, pulling him back up for another kiss. Sasuke smirked, running his tongue over well-shaped lips, his fingers pinching and teasing Naruto cute, perky nipples, causing the blonde to squeak in embarrassment.

"Sasuke!" Naruto wailed, forcing the Uchiha to look into his eyes. "Sto…stop that! It feels weird!" he whined. Sasuke paused slightly before prying Naruto's hands off of his hair.

"The good weird or bad weird?" he asked teasingly, trailing a finger down Naruto's stomach. Naruto shivered.

"I…I dunno…" Naruto whimpered, lost, squirming as Sasuke's hand cupped his erection through his panties. "Sasu!" he cried out, bucking his hips. Sasuke smirking, slowly kissed the blonde's nipple before taking it in, sucking the tit like a kitten for its mother's milk. "Nyah! Sasu! That's-that's…! So nice…" Naruto mewed, face completely red.

Sasuke smirking inwardly, slipping the panties off of Naruto's erection, earning a small cry, down his knees and over one ankle, not caring about the other ankle or the fact both over them were still wearing shoes and Sasuke his arm warmers. Sasuke stroked Naruto's cock watching bemusedly as the organ stiffened to it's full height and started to weep precum.

Sasuke's eyes flashed to Naruto's before he licked a bit of precum off Naruto's tip. Naruto gave a shrill scream, hips bucking up wildly. Sasuke leaned his head back, grinning cheekily at the frustrated look Naruto gave him.

"I'm sorry…did you need something?" Sasuke asked, fondling Naruto's balls, giving them a small squeeze.

"J…jerk…" Naruto panted, moaning in delight when Sasuke squeezed his balls. Sasuke lifted a brow.

"What was that?" he asked, pulling away from the blonde completely. Naruto gave him a panicked look.

"S-sorry! I meant…that…" Naruto blushing miserably, knowing what Sasuke would like. He sat up slowly, kneeling on his knees. "Gomen ne…Sasuke…" Naruto pouted cutely, blue eyes peering up at the Uchiha through thick, golden lashes.

Damn Kyuubi and those acting classes.

Sasuke twitched, cock and all, before pouncing back on the blonde, running his hands over the smooth tan skin the blonde had so much of.

Naruto whined when Sasuke pulled back, again. The blonde opened an eyes to see Sasuke looking just as frustrated. "…Sasuke?"

"Fuck! We don't have any lube…" Sasuke muttered, seriously pissed. Naruto tilted his head to the side curiously.

"…Lube?" he questioned breathlessly. Sasuke nodded, running his fingers through his hair. "What's that?" he asked curiously. Sasuke sweatdropped.

"Ah…well, you use it to make things...go more smoothly..?" Naruto lifted a brow at the blush on Sasuke's face.

"…Like lotion?" he questioned, sitting up, his chest rubbing against Sasuke's. Sasuke nodded, finally having the sense to peel off his arm warmers and underwear, along with their shoes and socks. Naruto crawled over to his bedside table, causing Sasuke to almost weep when he saw that cute, tight ass he couldn't pound.

"Ah, gods…" he whimpered, closing his eyes in defeat.

"Sasuke?" said Uchiha glanced up, eyes widening in joy when he saw the pomegranate-scented lotion in Naruto's hands.

"…thou has not forsaken me…" Sasuke finished, pushing Naruto back onto the bed. Naruto watched curiously as Sasuke poured the lotion on his hands, mainly his fingers, before bringing said fingers down to his own, wait-what?!

"Sasuke!" Naruto slipped out of the startled boy's arms. "Why are you going down there?!" Naruto whined, trying to jerk his foot free of the iron grip a non-too-pleased Sasuke hand on his ankle.

Sasuke didn't reply, only pulling the blonde close again and slipping his finger into the squealing blonde.

"Kyah! What?!" he kicked out at Sasuke, causing the brunette to growl.

"Stop that!" he snapped, grabbing onto Naruto's hips, **trying** to focus on preparing the blonde. Naruto squirmed, pouting at Sasuke childishly.

"That feels so weird though!" he whined, mind going blank when Sasuke ran his fingers over his erection. "Ah…" he mewled. Sasuke smirked, slipping in another finger, rubbing and teasing the blonde's insides.

Naruto writhed under the brunette's actions, hands gripping the sheets so, so tightly. His back arched when Sasuke hit a spot in him that felt so good…

"You like that?" Sasuke smirked, rubbing his fingers against Naruto prostate, earning a high-pitched squeal.

"Sasu!" Naruto whined, the heat in the pit of stomach was too much. "Do-do something!" he whined, vaguely wondering what 'something' was. Sasuke grinned wolfishly at the poor blonde underneath him, sliding his fingers out. Naruto cried out at the loss of pleasure "Not that!" he whined.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, pouring more of Naruto's lotion onto his hand and stroking his erection. "Nnn…Naruto…" he groaned, hips bucking forward. Naruto's face was cherry red, he thought he was going to die from embarrassment. Sasuke noticed the mortified look Naruto gave him and smirking, running his hand down Naruto's hip, the other guiding his tip to the blonde's entrance.

Naruto flinched when he felt Sasuke enter him, wincing as the large organ filled him. "Sasu…" he whimpered, eyes tearing up. Sasuke leaned down, pressing their bodies together, Naruto relaxed slightly when he felt Sasuke's heart beating erratically against his own. He cupped the Uchiha's face in his hands, kissing him softly. Sasuke groaned into the kiss, deepening it as he slid out before thrusting back in.

"Kyah!" Naruto's back arched in shock, his vision blurring as Sasuke repeatedly thrusted into him, groaning the blonde's name.

"N…Naru…!" Sasuke moaned, burying himself into the wonderfully tight, wet, heat. Naruto's hands roamed the Uchiha's back, scratching the flushed skin in an attempt to find an anchor.

"Sasuke! Oh, Sasu!" Naruto screamed when said Uchiha hit the same spot from earlier, only twice as hard. Sasuke winced when he felt the blonde's nails scratching up his back, he grabbed the blonde's hands, intertwining their fingers as they sloppily danced through the mating ritual.

Naruto's body was on fire, he gave a loud cry as he came onto their stomach. Sasuke gasped in shock when Naruto seemed to grow more tighter, he moaned in bliss as he came into the trembling blonde.

Naruto shivered as the pleasurable feeling of post-orgasm hit him in waves, Sasuke rested his head on the blonde's chest, comfortable with listening to Naruto's heart beat lower back down to his original heart rate.

Sasuke blindly groped for the blanket to cover themselves, humming in satisfaction when he found it, yanking it over their bodies. He pulled his new favorite teddy bear into his arms, said blonde teddy bear snuggling into the delightful warmth Sasuke's body gave off.

"Luv you, Sasu…" Naruto murmured into the Uchiha's chest. Sasuke stroked the blonde's hair.

"Night, Naru. I love you too…" he added, before following Naruto to the land of Glorious Sleep.

* * *

"I just realized something…" Kyuubi muttered, resting his chin in his hand as he propped his elbow on his pillow. He was flat out on his stomach again in Itachi's bed, said Uchiha lying on his side, examining the redhead with that smug 'I just got laid' look in his eyes.

"Oh?" Itachi questioned, raising his head onto his palm and bracing his upper arm against his pillow, running his other hand down Kyuubi's back. "What's that?" he asked, fingers tangling gently with the strands he found there.

"You're a damn animal in bed when you're pissed." Kyuubi stated bluntly. Itachi sweatdropped. "But it feels amazing as hell once you get past the whole, **no lube or prep job thing**, but that's okay I suppose." Kyuubi added on sarcastically. Itachi rolled his eyes, pulling Kyuubi into his arms.

"Just shut up and go to bed…" he muttered. Kyuubi huffed out a breath, resting his forward on Itachi's chest.

"Bastard…"

* * *

May: HAH! THERE! YOU DIDN'T THINK I WOULD DO IT, DID YOU!? Lemon scene! XD yeah, it took my like three days to write that, **so praise me**, and the thought of Sasuke in panties makes me giggle…ah, the should have been rainbow panties, but that would have ruined the mood…XDD

**REVIEW FOR MORE LEMONS XDDD!!**


	5. School Girl Uniforms and Bondage

May: Boo! Lolz. Yesh. I'm thinking about putting up one of those infamous 'Rocker yaoi' fanfictions, what do you think? Huh?

Also, for those of you who loved my lemon last chappie, the secret? When at the grocery store, always go for the lemon-lime! Gatorade, Sprite, always lemon-lime!

This chapter was created due to the fact that one reviewer asked where the ItaKyuu lemon was located, lulz.

* * *

Previously:

_Sasuke blindly groped for the blanket to cover themselves, humming in satisfaction when he found it, yanking it over their bodies. He pulled his new favorite teddy bear into his arms, said blonde teddy bear snuggling into the delightful warmth Sasuke's body gave off._

"_Luv you, Sasu…" Naruto murmured into the Uchiha's chest. Sasuke stroked the blonde's hair._

"_Night, Naru. I love you too…" he added, before following Naruto to the land of Glorious Sleep._

* * *

"_I just realized something…" Kyuubi muttered, resting his chin in his hand as he propped his elbow on his pillow. He was flat out on his stomach again in Itachi's bed, said Uchiha lying on his side, examining the redhead with that smug 'I just got laid' look in his eyes._

"_Oh?" Itachi questioned, raising his head onto his palm and bracing his upper arm against his pillow, running his other hand down Kyuubi's back. "What's that?" he asked, fingers tangling gently with the strands he found there._

"_You're a damn animal in bed when you're pissed." Kyuubi stated bluntly. Itachi sweatdropped. "But it feels amazing as hell once you get past the whole, __**no lube or prep job thing**__, but that's okay I suppose." Kyuubi added on sarcastically. Itachi rolled his eyes, pulling Kyuubi into his arms._

"_Just shut up and go to bed…" he muttered. Kyuubi huffed out a breath, resting his forward on Itachi's chest._

"_Bastard…"_

* * *

Chapter 5-

Sasuke's eyes slid open soundlessly as he sat up in bed, looking around wildly.

"Naru? Naruto?" he asked in a panic, looking for his newly-obtained lover. He stood up, peeking inside the empty bathroom before walking back outside to the bedroom. "Naruto!?"

The sound of the door opening caught his attention, he watched, past crimes forgotten as his adorable dobe trotted into the room carrying a tray with two pancake breakfasts on it.

Naruto was wearing a sailor skirt school uniform with bright, orange highlights and knee-high socks with black school shoes. The tray was a highly decorated piece of silver, with roses and fairies carved into the platter. The two pancake stacks were topped by a slab of butter and a glass container of syrup was also the tray, along with two glasses of milk and a plate of fresh strawberries.

"Oh? Sasuke, you're awake already? Gomen if I scared you, I had to get a new set of clothes for today and our breakfast, I hope you like pancakes!" Naruto chirped cheerfully, setting the tray on the bed carefully. He turned to look at Sasuke, "Oh yeah…" he pulled out a small stack of folded clothes. "Deidara-nii-chan said to put this on when you wake up, we're going to see Kakashi-sensei today…" Sasuke blinked in surprise.

"Kakashi?!" his thoughts drifted back to the psycho masked pirate "He's here?!" he asked in shock. Naruto nodded.

"He manages the store above and is one of the owners of Cosplay Hearts." Naruto explained, Sasuke raised a brow.

"Huh? One of?" Sasuke tilted his head to the side, confused. Naruto sighed, placing his fists on his hips.

"Sasuke. My back's really sore, but still I went to get you some yummy food, be nice and eat it, please?" he whined. Sasuke sighed, pushing the large mass of confusing thoughts into the corner of his mind.

"Alright, alright. Let's eat." He replied, sitting down on the bed with Naruto.

* * *

"I-Itachi!" Kyuubi squeaked, pushing at the Uchiha's shoulders. "Wait until-gasp-later!" he cried as the Uchiha's hips grinded against his own. It wasn't his fault he was dressed like this!

"Really, Kyuubi, you're supposed to take care of me, right?" Itachi, currently wearing only very, very tight pants purred, licking the shell of the red head's ear. "Outfits like this really turn me on…" Kyuubi managed to shove the Uchiha away, running over to the opposite wall while Itachi watched him in amusement.

"We-well…jerk!" Kyuubi huffed. His hair was in two, braided pigtails that began right before the ears, his outfit was that of a black dress shirt and red ribbon underneath a red blazer uniform jacket and a plaid, red and black shirt. Red, thigh-high socks ran up his delectable legs and black, ankle-length boots were covering his feet. "See if you get any breakfast!" he huffed, walking over to the pancake meals resting on the table next to Itachi's bed, similar to the one his younger brother had grabbed earlier.

"I can't help it if you look fucking sexy in red and black, and those pigtails are adorable" Itachi added, walking forward to rub his erection against Kyuubi's ass. The red head stiffened, before giving out a sigh.

"As much as continuous sex appeals to me, we have somewhere to be today." Kyuubi stated, pouring syrup over the pancakes, before cutting a slice and poking it at Itachi's lips with his fork. Itachi obediently opened his mouth, letting Kyuubi place the piece of pancake in his mouth and closing his teeth around it with a click, the fork sliding back out of his mouth easily.

"As much as having somewhere to be today appeals to me, your little outfit here has given a non-too-little problem that's hard to walk with." Itachi stated between chews. Kyuubi rolled his eyes.

"Of course you are...but I'm not getting my ass pounded into the bed." He turned around to look at the brunette, running his fingers across the bare chest.

"Then…" Itachi had a feeling he knew where this was going, but didn't Kyuubi say it was good to ask questions? "what are you going to do?" he asked. Kyuubi lifted a brow before signing, pushing Itachi down onto the bed, climbing on top of him and straddling his waist.

**-WARNING! SMUT AHEAD! LOOK BEHIND YOUR SHOULDERS FOR YOUR PARENTS!!- (you know you like it, lulz.)**

"Well, this is a nice change…" Itachi purred, stroking Kyuubi's waist, a smirk firmly in place. "And, what is the difference between being fucked and riding?" he asked innocently. Kyuubi felt his eye twitched.

"Instead of bending me into all those different positions, that, I might add, a virgin would deem impossible, the only thing that'll be aching is my ass, which I can deal with." He explained, kneeling with his knees on either side of Itachi's hips. He blushed slightly at the hungry look Itachi gave him when he slipped the soft, black cotton pants (Kyuubi vehemently refused to wear a thong) down to his mid thighs, before pulling a knee up and slipping a leg through it's hole.

"Shit, Kyuubi. If you keep taking your time…" Itachi warned, jerking Kyuubi's hips forward. The red head almost toppled over, managing to catch himself, he glared at Itachi before a smirk crawled up his face. Inner Itachi began to sweat.

That smirk was dangerous to Itachi's health in a foreboding way…

Kyuubi lied his body down against Itachi's as slowly as possible, ignoring Itachi junior's dilemma as he slid his body slowly up Itachi's stomach, to chest, until they were face to face. Itachi's self control was on the breaking point, and that small kiss on the tip of his nose did him in.

Kyuubi eeped in surprise when Itachi switched their positions, grabbing onto the red head's hips, preparing to thrust in. Fast as lightning, Kyuubi's hand darted to the back of Itachi's neck, grabbing a key pressure point.

Itachi gasped in shock when his body went boneless, collapsing onto Kyuubi with a flump. Kyuubi grunted at the sudden weight, shifting slightly before managing to roll over onto their previous positions.

"Itachi, Itachi" Kyuubi sighed, careful to keep the grip on the pissed brunette's neck. "Always so impatient…" he slid his free hand underneath the pillow Itachi's head was resting on, pulling out a jar of edible, lemon-flavored lube and resting it to the right of Itachi's head. Unscrewing the lid expertly with one hand, Kyuubi dipped his index finger in slightly, pulling the coated digit out and busied himself with drawing a fox on his lover's chest.

"Kyuubi." Itachi gritted out. "Ride me. Now." he glared darkly at Kyuubi, mentally swearing to find some goddamn handcuffs and punish the amused red head on top of him.

Kyuubi smiled sweetly at Itachi, finished with his somewhat well drawn chibi fox, hell, he was horny, art could wait. "Of course, Itachi-sama." He purred slyly "Just give me a second…" Itachi began to fluently curse as Kyuubi began to lap up the fox drawing, licking his lips occasionally.

Kyuubi ran his tongue up Itachi's chest with a long lick, his fingers dipping into the jar of lube again, three fingers this time. Itachi grit his teeth, grunting when Kyuubi's slid back up against him, their breaths mingling, the leftover lube on his chest making the sliding easier.

"Are you gonna be a good boy?" Kyuubi asked, mewing softly as his fingers prodded his own entrance. "I-ta-chi-sa-ma?" he moaned, a finger slipping inside of him. Itachi bit his lip, all he could see was Kyuubi's pleasure-written face, the teen's red eyes hazy with pleasure. Deciding to test his self control one more time, Itachi nodded, Kyuubi released the pressure point with a moan, one hand working on stretching himself, while the other grappled for the lube.

Scooping a large amount in his hand out, Kyuubi began to pump Itachi's organ, earning a curse and grunt. Mewing pathetically, he pulled out his trembling fingers and positioned himself over Itachi's dick, before shoving himself down with a cry.

Itachi groaned, gripping Kyuubi's hips and thrusting upwards while pulling the red head down until he was buried to the hilt. Kyuubi bit his lip, his fingers tangling in the sheets. With a whine he slid himself up before pushing himself back down. Itachi gripped Kyuubi's hips tightly, helping him move.

"Ah, ah…" Kyuubi moaned, his back bending over as he slid himself up and down repeatedly, Itachi grabbed the red head by the hair and yanked him down for a rough kiss. "Nnn…" Kyuubi whimpered, hands tangling into Itachi's hair before he pulled back, moving up and down on Itachi's cock more quickly, releasing moans from both their throats. Kyuubi arched his back as he came, his semen getting caught on the underside of his skirt. Itachi groaned, his head tilting back when Kyuubi's body seemed all the more tighter before releasing his seed deep into the red head.

Kyuubi slid off of Itachi's flaccid cock before collapsing bonelessly next to him. Itachi wound and arm around Kyuubi waist, pulling him against his body.

**-CODE GREEN! SMUT LEVEL CLEARED! (or so you think) Yeah, it's over, sorry! Now go, scroll this page down so you're parents don't see it!!- **

"Mmm…we need to shower, Kyuubi muttered, wincing as he remembered his now ruined clothing. He managed to pull away from a clingy Itachi and strip down to his bare minimums before wobbling over to the house phone on the bedside table next to the forgotten pancakes. Picking up the receiver he dialed '69' and waited.

"…Deidara? Ah, yeah, it's Kyuubi, Itachi just raped me-" this earned a loud snort from a certain Uchiha working on loosening his pants "-and I need clothes…yes, I know I'm a sadistic bitch…yes, delivery would be wonderful…I'm wearing that?...oh, that sounds fine, Itachi might not like it though…" at this a now naked Itachi lifted a brow "…yeah, yeah, his room, just put it on the bed, I'll leave the clothes there…and Itachi needs a set too…Uhuh, Uhuh, total bitch that can rot in hell, I know, I know…love you too…byes…" Kyuubi replaced the phone on the receiver, squeaking when Itachi snatched him up from behind and tossed him onto his shoulder like a bag of rice "…Can I help you..?" Kyuubi grunted, Itachi's shoulder digging into his stomach rather uncomfortably.

"Why yes, you can…" Itachi replied, tossing Kyuubi into the shower and turning on the water. The red head cried in shock as the icy water hit him, trying to scramble out but Itachi pushed him back in.

"J-jerk!" Kyuubi snapped, his teeth chattering.

"Uhuh…" Itachi smirked, grabbing one of the hand towels from the sink and tying Kyuubi's hands to the metal bar more commonly used for washcloths.

Kyuubi began to calm down as the water got warmer and Itachi climbed in with him.

"Well, well, Boy-Scout-kun, we know our knots don't we?" Kyuubi muttered, twisting his wrists in an attempt to loosen the towel. Itachi grinned down at him.

"Why yes, School-Girl-Shinobi-chan, we do." Kyuubi cursed when he realized his hair was still in their pigtails.

* * *

"It's this way Sasuke!" Naruto turned and waved at the Uchiha several feet behind him. Sasuke cursed, crawling on the floor, completely wiped.

So far Naruto had led them through a series of trials unfitting of an Uchiha.

Step stone lake; which Sasuke's had fallen in.

Bamboo Pike Forest; which Sasuke almost became a girl in.

Indiana Jones Room; Need I say more?

And finally the Lava Pit; which turns out the Lava was actually mashed up strawberries with large chocolate chunks.

Naruto stopped in front of a set of grand, double door, turning to look at Sasuke, currently dressed in a now ruined jeans and black t-shirt. After realizing Sasuke was heading to Kakashi, he wisely gave Sasuke some very, very 'drab' clothing.

"Here we are! Let's go!" Naruto spun around when Sasuke caught up, reaching for the door. Sasuke grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Wait! Let's wait for aniki and Kyuubi…" he muttered, 'secretly' afraid of the psycho pirate.

Or not so secret.

"Ah! Kakashi-sensei is a bit scary huh?" Naruto giggled, petting a blushing Sasuke on the head. "Don't worry, we can wait…" he added.

* * *

End Chapter 5

Yeah, ItaKyuu smut, very different from the SasuNaru lemon! Caused hell, Kyuubi sure as hell ain't a virgin! Even before he got together with Itachi, but we'll go into that next chapter…kukuku…

Also, regarding the trials.

Step-stone Lake: One of those lakes you have to walk across by jumping on those stepping stones.

Bamboo-Pike Forest: In the martial arts movie, where the trainee gets pwned by a monkey or whatever on top of that huge field of bamboo sticks with pointy edges, pointy, sharp, castration. Get it?

Indiana Jones Room: Boulder.

Lava Pit: The test of mind over matter! Rather, hunger. Pass by without feasting on the delicious chunks of rock (chocolate) and lava (strawberries)!

Did I give this story a Kiriban? If not, then 200! Lolz. Did we top that?

**REVIEW!**


	6. Trials and Hissy Fits

May: Well jebus, guess what folks? I'm not dead! My beta's having trouble with her computer and i'm a lazy bum (also dealing with new Miscrosoft word style), hence the lack of updatation sensations, hehehe...*runs off, tossing story behind her* DUN KILL MEH!!!

----

Previously on Cosplay Store:

"…_Deidara? Ah, yeah, it's Kyuubi, Itachi just raped me-" this earned a loud snort from a certain Uchiha working on loosening his pants "-and I need clothes…yes, I know I'm a sadistic bitch…yes, delivery would be wonderful…I'm wearing that?...oh, that sounds fine, Itachi might not like it though…" at this a now naked Itachi lifted a brow "…yeah, yeah, his room, just put it on the bed, I'll leave the clothes there…and Itachi needs a set too…Uhuh, Uhuh, total bitch that can rot in hell, I know, I know…love you too…byes…" Kyuubi replaced the phone on the receiver, squeaking when Itachi snatched him up from behind and tossed him onto his shoulder like a bag of rice "…Can I help you..?" Kyuubi grunted, Itachi's shoulder digging into his stomach rather uncomfortably._

"_Why yes, you can…" Itachi replied, tossing Kyuubi into the shower and turning on the water. The red head cried in shock as the icy water hit him, trying to scramble out but Itachi pushed him back in._

"_J-jerk!" Kyuubi snapped, his teeth chattering._

"_Uhuh…" Itachi smirked, grabbing one of the hand towels from the sink and tying Kyuubi's hands to the metal bar more commonly used for washcloths._

_Kyuubi began to calm down as the water got warmer and Itachi climbed in with him._

"_Well, well, Boy-Scout-kun, we know our knots don't we?" Kyuubi muttered, twisting his wrists in an attempt to loosen the towel. Itachi grinned down at him._

"_Why yes, School-Girl-Shinobi-chan, we do." Kyuubi cursed when he realized his hair was still in their pigtails._

"_It's this way Sasuke!" Naruto turned and waved at the Uchiha several feet behind him. Sasuke cursed, crawling on the floor, completely wiped._

_So far Naruto had led them through a series of trials unfitting of an Uchiha._

_Step stone lake; which Sasuke's had fallen in._

_Bamboo Pike Forest; which Sasuke almost became a girl in._

_Indiana Jones Room; Need I say more?_

_And finally the Lava Pit; which turns out the Lava was actually mashed up strawberries with large chocolate chunks._

_Naruto stopped in front of a set of grand, double door, turning to look at Sasuke, currently dressed in a now ruined jeans and black t-shirt. After realizing Sasuke was heading to Kakashi, he wisely gave Sasuke some very, very 'drab' clothing._

"_Here we are! Let's go!" Naruto spun around when Sasuke caught up, reaching for the door. Sasuke grabbed him by the shoulder._

"_Wait! Let's wait for aniki and Kyuubi…" he muttered, 'secretly' afraid of the psycho pirate._

_Or not so secret._

"_Ah! Kakashi-sensei is a bit scary huh?" Naruto giggled, petting a blushing Sasuke on the head. "Don't worry, we can wait…" he added._

----

Kyuubi sighed, jumping almost absentmindedly across the step stone lake Kakashi had put in the keep out crazed fangirls dressed in rainbow leotards doing EPIC PHAILE back-flips trying to break into his office to steal some of his coffee...

...he didn't get it either.

Itachi stepped after him, slightly more wobbly, trying not to fall in, dressed in a black t-shirt with matching jeans. "I'm surprised Deidara has jeans in his monster closet." Itachi muttered after clearing the stepping stones and following Kyuubi to the bamboo pike forest "...You've got to be shitting me." he grit out. "What the hell does he need this for?!"

Kyuubi turned to look at him blankly "To keep out the three headed alien centaurs and their minions, the agile, but stupid, blue dwarfs in orange tights." he quoted, the redhead was dressed in "Mystic #57", Deidara's adopted soul child from the Middle East that included sheer, white cloth running all over Kyuubi's body, covering his upper torso, waist and thighs in a green, silk sash, while the cloth covered the rest of his body, still giving a viewer the chance to check him out thoroughly. Jingling belts and necklaces hung off his body and his face was covered by a sheer green mask. Itachi was not-so-vaguely reminded of those female genies in those Eastern Movies that usually included a lot of sexual themes.

After three 3 hours of staring, he still didn't have the slightest clue where to begin stripping the redhead for more...productive activities. Damn you, Deidara. Damn you!

Itachi blinked when Kyuubi's response caught up to him "..._What?_" he replied, staring as Kyuubi effortlessly jumped up onto one of the bamboo stalks that didn't end in a sharp point. "...And how do I get across this?" he added.

Kyuubi smiled back at him "Pray." he replied cheerfully, hopping over to the next flat bamboo piece easily. Itachi cursed before climbing up after him.

----

Naruto squirmed uncomfortably in Sasuke's lap, dressing in a blue Lolita dress with small pink petals patterned on it. "Sasuke! You're still wet! And if I keep getting Deidara-nii-chan's clothes messy, he won't be happy with me!" he gave Sasuke a teary look that only resulted in making the brunette's eye gleam even more.

Sasuke proceeded to grope his blonde, pausing when heard voices approaching.

"I'm tell you, baby bro, Kakashi's a cruel bitch! How dare he spike all that ice cream with chocolate laxatives?!" a voice whined, heading their way. Sasuke began to sweat, so that was the trick to Room number 4.

Naruto blinked when and boy with red hair and dark rings circling his sea green eyes saw them, blinked in shocked before running over and pulling Naruto out of a shocked Sasuke arms with a growl. "G-Gaara!" he greeted in surprise, laughing awkwardly as Sasuke and Gaara exchanged Death Glares.

----

"**What the hell is this guy's problem?!**" Itachi shouted, sprinting through a narrow corridor, Kyuubi running next to him as they tried to avoid the giant boulder rolling dangerously after them, attempting to squash them to a pulp.

"Lawn Gnomes."**(1) **Kyuubi drawled, keeping his eye focused on the doorway coming up closer to them "We're almost there" he added, grinning at the Uchiha.

----

"Gaara! Sasuke! Stop it!" Naruto wailed, from behind Shuukaku, Gaara's older brother. "Shuu-nii! Stop them! Or-or I'll make Kyuu-nii do something bad to you!" Naruto cried, watching in horror as Gaara and Sasuke grappled at each other of the floor in front of them.

"Really now, there's a thought…" Shuukaku muttered perversely, grinning to himself. None-the-less he frowned as Gaara and Sasuke started going into cat-fight mode a.k.a. pulling hair and using teeth "…Really ladies, that's what the guard rail's for…" **(2)**

Gaara and Sasuke turned to give him a dark look.

Naruto stepped forward "Gaara calm down!" he whined childishly.

"He was molesting you!" Gaara accused darkly, shaking Sasuke with his grip on his collar. Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"He's my boyfriend and I'll do what I please to him!" the brunette hissed angrily. Shuukaku rolled his eyes.

"Oh, hell…" he sighed when Gaara's eyes glittered dangerously.

"You're boyfriend?! What have you been doing to my cousin you sleazy son of a-"

"Well, well, Shuu-kun long time no see…" Everyone turned to see Kyuubi walking towards them, dragging Itachi behind him calmly.

Itachi managed to climb to his feet and took in the situation. "…Sasuke, are you fist fighting or having a hissy fit?" he asked after a moment.

"Hissy fit." Shuukaku clarified, looking at Itachi critically. "You don't look half bad for someone who just got through the trials o' hell, you been here before?" Itachi shook his head.

"First time." he answered, dazed.

Shuukaku and Gaara stared. "Well, shit." Shuukaku managed after a moment of awed silence. He turned his attention to Kyuubi "Hiya Kyuubi, how do I strip you out of that now?" he asked bluntly.

Kyuubi groaned, burying his face in his hands as Itachi stepped forward, "Dangerous and Sexy" practically stamped all over him.

"Excuse me?" Itachi growled out softly. "That's my bitch you're hitting on." Shuukaku blinked before a dangerous smirk crawled up his face.

"I hope you don't fight as girly as your brother." he replied, taking a fighting stance.

----

May: Tada! Done! Next, late as usual, Kakashi comes in a chapter late ^^

**PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW ALL MY FANS HAVEN'T DIED!!!! *CRIES***

**(1)- Zomg players on gaia will get this, lol, add me if you have a gaia btw, screename's may10baby ^^**

**(2)- An epic comment made by a teacher that pulled my off of this one girl i was really, really mad at ^^**


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